Another Lesson I Learned from My Son

5 Jun

I sit here trying to figure out what to write for my next post and as I struggle between deciding whether I should incorporate some fitness moves, talk more about the benefits of yoga or simply post another recipe, all of a sudden I am remembering a conversation I had with my ten year old son yesterday that went a little something like this:

Son:  Mom, we learned about probability and certainty today in class.  My teacher says it’s not certain that the sun will rise tomorrow.

Me:  Well she’s right.  We don’t know for sure that the sun will come up tomorrow.

Son:  Sure it will (those who know him can already see where this is going…he always thinks he’s right 😉 ).

Me:  Well not really.  We don’t know for sure.  There could be an apocalypse or who knows?  Like my mama always told me, nothing is for sure except death and taxes (add a little laugh here remembering all the little tidbits of information she told me when I was younger and now share with my kids).

Son:  That’s not true because we know for certain that I’m breathing, that Gracie is standing right here (our dog was standing in between us) and that you’re doing laundry (yes I was putting some towels in the dryer as I was trying to give my son my “undivided” attention – NO judgment…it happens to the best of us!!)

Me:  Yes Julian, you are absolutely right.  What we know for certain is exactly what is in this moment (cue my opportunity to teach my son about all that I have learned during my yoga teacher training and self-help books).  What is real is only what is happening right now.  Our thoughts about what may happen 5 minutes from now, 5 days from now or 5 years from now are just that – thoughts.  They are not real.  None of that is a certainty.  And the past, those are thoughts too.  It is our mind reliving the present moments of past events in our life.  Nothing is certain in life except what is right now.  That is why it is so important to focus on the now and not get caught up in what if?  We don’t know what the future holds.  Now is what really matters because this is for real.  Now is a certainty…

Son:  (interrupting me mid-sentence) Yah well Mom, you’re not really good at that!

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so I just started laughing!!  There I was trying to teach my son the importance of being in the present moment.  Focusing on the now.  Not worrying about the future.  Not fretting over the past.  Trying to teach this old soul valuable life lessons that I hope he will carry forward into his adulthood.  And BAM!  He slaps me with his reality.  His truth.  And it stung.  How could I argue with him?  He is right.  He was sharing what he saw to be a matter of fact.  Even though I made light of it and shifted the topic back to certainty and probability as it applied in his school work, I realized that I wasn’t ready to have this deep conversation with my son because he is just too smart for me to even try to pull the wool over his eyes.  Who am I kidding?  He knows me better than most people do.

It’s difficult when your kids put a mirror in front of you and force you to see yourself for who you really are.  I am not talking about a vanity mirror.  I am talking about the mirror that forces you to look inside.  Believe it or not, I am okay with the physical me (nobody’s perfect and I have finally come to terms with accepting the body I am in and I love it).  It’s the inner me that is  my biggest challenge.  This is the area in my life that needs the greatest work.  The internal struggles that go on that no one ever sees or hears about.  It’s a work in progress.  I am trying to learn how to live in the now.  To let go of the past and not fear or attempt to control my future.  No one knows what the future holds and no one should really care about the past because it’s gone and we can’t get it back.

I learned something yesterday.  No matter how hard I try to be this person I am striving to be (you know the saying…fake it until you make it), my children will always see me for just exactly who I am.  Whether that is good, bad, mean, scary, funny, embarrassing, crazy, loud, whatever word they may feel to use in a particular moment, the one certainty remains.  I am, and always will be, for certain, their mommy.

Thank you Julian, for once again, allowing me to learn from you.  I love you and your sister with every fibre of my being.  And that, my dear, is not a probability – it’s a certainty!

Until next time,

Have a fit and fabulous day!

Lisa

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